


In Which Several Things Unravel At Once

by postapocalyptic_cryptic



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, CC-1010 | Fox Needs A Hug, CC-1010 | Fox Whump, Chatting & Messaging, Dissociation, Episode: S06e04 Orders, Fives still dies sorry, Gen, Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues, Mind Control, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Multiple, Protective CC-3636 | Wolffe, Protective Mace Windu, Rex Gets Pissed, Tired Mace Windu, Unreliable Narrator, Victim Blaming, Vokara Has Had Enough, Yeah this is not going well for Fox, of a sort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:40:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29601183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postapocalyptic_cryptic/pseuds/postapocalyptic_cryptic
Summary: Fox has been losing time. This time, he lost a vod, too. It's time for the nightmare to end. Mace Windu would like everyone to say what they mean for once, thank you.Blah, blah, blah, something something, "sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger," or some gay bullshit.
Relationships: CC-1010 | Fox & Mace Windu
Comments: 55
Kudos: 150





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello I have several serious WIPs and this is just taking precedence right now.
> 
> TWs: Minor implied suicidal thoughts. Not enough to merit its own tag, but I will tag it if it becomes more pervasive.

Rex isn’t exactly sure what’s happening. Everything’s a little blurry, a little off-kilter. _Fives is dead._ Fives is dead and Fox killed him. Rex’s brain keeps hitting a wall, refusing to fully process what’s happening. 

What he _can_ process is the way Fox is just standing there, looking on from the sidelines as if nothing’s wrong. He hadn’t even joined the rest of the Guard in Rex’s grief. 

There had been a time when Rex had believed Cody and Wolffe’s claims that Fox was just stressed and awkward, not heartless. That time has passed. 

Rex pushes out of the circle of vod and advances on Fox, snarling in some grim satisfaction when the Commander lets him back them up to the wall. Fox is still just _standing there,_ stumbling along like _he’s_ the one who’s grieving. Rex slams his hand into the wall next to Fox’s head. Fox twitches. 

“What is _wrong_ with you?” Rex yells. Screams, more like, with the way his voice cracks in the middle of the statement. “I- How could you- Do you even-” Rex sputters, completely at a loss for words. “He’s _dead,_ Fox. One of my men is dead because you’re such a kriffing _robot_ that you can’t turn your gun to stun _one time.”_

Fox says nothing, just leans back as Rex moves closer. The back of his helmet hits the warehouse wall with a clang. 

“You don’t feel anything at all, do you? You just follow orders like a _good little soldier,”_ Rex spits, thinking with a shiver of Tup and his final words. He shoves Fox, pushing at his chestplate until he’s flat against the wall. “It should be you lying there, you know. I wish he’d shot first. I _hate_ you,” he finishes in a vindictive whisper, voice too hoarse and heart too broken for anything else. 

Rex waits for a moment for Fox to respond. When he doesn’t, Rex sneers one last, “Typical,” and turns on his heel to deal with the mess Fox has left. 

The last thing he sees before carrying Fives’s body out the door is one of the other Corries (Thire, Rex thinks his name is) tugging Fox’s helmet off. Fox’s eyes are unfocused. 

* * *

_You have_ **134** _unread messages._

**CDR Cody:** Fox, what happened?

 **CDR Cody:** Rex just talked with me. I read the reports. What’s going on?

 **CRD Cody:** Fox

 **CDR Cody:** I don’t want to believe what I’m seeing

 **CDR Cody:** Fox

  
  


**CDR Thire:** i’ve got your next shift covered. talk later?

  
  


**Amidala, Padme:** (five attachments) 

**Amidala, Padme:** This should be everything for next week’s gala. If you need anything else, just shoot me another message!

  
  


**CDR Stone:** (shiftassignments.4.72.pdf)

  
  


**CDR Wolffe:** fox what the fuck is going on

 **CDR Wolffe:** i hope you have this under control

**Kingston, June:** Commander, the Chancellor requests your presence tomorrow morning at 0715 in his main office. Does this time work for you? Thanks, Sec. Kingston.

**Administrative.DONOTREPLY:** Attention [CC-1010], one or more urgent forms type GAR-PERMRECORDS-DEATHCERTIFICATES have been submitted to your inbox and require action. 

  
  


_You have_ **121** _unread messages._

 _You have been removed from 2 groups._ _View more?_

 _An admin user has removed you from the following groups:_ **Vode haha more like Toad, Secret Chat For Secret Nonsentients.**

  
  


Fox takes a moment to press the heel of his hand to his forehead, willing the pressure to drive out the headache. It doesn’t work. It never does. 

He sets his ‘pad down, nearly missing the edge of the desk. He hasn’t been right since. Since. Since the warehouse. 

_Think it, coward. You did it, so live with it. Or don’t._

Since he ki- 

_Come on, do it. Hut’uun. Do it._

Since Fox killed ARC Trooper Fives. Since Fox drew his blaster and fired and shot him right in the middle of the chest. Since Fox went out of his own head for the millionth time and made another vod pay the price for it. 

He’d come back to himself moments after the shot, just in time to have clear memories of Fives’s dying breaths. Just in time to hear Rex, Fox’s vod’ika, one of the ones Fox would die to protect, cry and scream and curse him out. Fox took it. It was pathetic penance, but it was a start. He’ll continue now. 

Fox can’t remain in this position if he’s compromised. Whatever’s happening, whatever’s causing these blackouts, is beyond what he can handle. He can’t be the Guard Commander, can’t hold a position of power over his siblings, if he’s like this. 

Even if they don’t declare him medically unfit, Fox could court martial his own Force-damned self with the helmet footage of what’d happened. 

Hell, he might as well do both at once. 

* * *

Mace is woken at some ungodly hour by the urgent chime of his communicator. He tries to ignore it, to savor the little bit of shore leave he has, but it sounds again, on the priority line this time. He sighs, sitting up and shoving at his blankets until he feels composed enough to view the message. 

**Priority Alert:**

**CC-1010:** Requesting an on-duty nat-born officer to meet and discuss a court martial and potential removal from duty. 

**Depa Billaba:** Sounds fun, but I’ve got to leave again at 0310. **@Mace Windu** should be available, though.

**Mace Windu:** Thank you for alerting me during my free slot, Padawan mine. 

**Mace Windu: @CC-1010** , I will meet you in your office at 0255. 

**CC-1010:** Thank you, General. I’ll be waiting. 

Mace stands and stretches, reluctant to leave his quarters but taken by the sinking feeling that there is more to this situation than Commander Fox is telling. The Commander rarely requested nat-born interference in the Guard’s comings and goings, though he worked closely with the Sentinels and the Temple at large. Furthermore, Mace had _never_ heard of him removing a Guard member from duty. He was known for his strict discipline, yes, but he seemed to go to great lengths to avoid the transfer or removal of any of his men. 

Mace throws his robes on and prays this won’t turn into too big of a headache.

* * *

Mace arrives outside Commander Fox’s door at 0250, but his knock is answered almost immediately. Commander Fox stands just inside the door in full armor, save for his helmet, which is on the desk behind him. He’s also entirely unarmed. 

“General. Thank you for your prompt response. Please, come in.” Fox backs into the room and stands behind his desk, clearly ill at ease. He looks awful, pale and shaky and tired, and Mace wonders if this has anything to do with the evening’s security catastrophe. 

Mace sits in the visitor’s chair, hoping to encourage Fox to sit as well. He doesn’t. Mace clears his throat. “You called me here with concerns about a trooper?”

Fox shifts from foot to foot, hands clasped behind his back. His eye twitches minutely. “Yes, sir. Specifically, I’m reporting a trooper as medically unfit for duty and subjecting them to a general court martial for dereliction of duty, willful endangerment of civilians and fellow GAR soldiers, failure to report a compromising injury, and murder in the second degree.” Fox lets out a shaky breath. Shatterpoints flicker around the edges of Mace’s senses. 

Mace raises his eyebrows. “That’s quite the laundry list, Commander. Provided you have sufficient grounds, you are well within your power to have the trooper detained and brought before a court.” Which begs the question: why hasn’t he? Nothing Fox has told Mace so far is beyond his ability to deal with. A higher-ranking officer than the Commander should only be needed once the paperwork goes through and the trooper goes to trial. “What is this trooper’s identity?” 

Fox closes his eyes and the anxiety in the Force reaches a fever pitch. “It’s me, sir.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fox is taken to the Temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ponds is alive bc yes he is ☺️

“Commander?” Mace isn’t sure what else to say.

Fortunately, Fox has more than enough words for the both of them. “I’ve been experiencing memory loss and extreme dissociation, sir. It’s been going in for roughly 13 months and has only grown worse with time. I failed to report this to a medical officer and it recently resulted in the death of ARC-5555. If you’d like proof, General, the incident was recorded on several helmet cams, as well as the security footage from the warehouse itself.” Fox doesn’t falter during his speech. If Mace had to guess, he’d say it’s been rehearsed. “I surrender myself to your custody, sir.” Fox steps out from behind his desk, takes his helmet, and holds it out to Mace. 

Mace blinks. “Commander, I believe I’m missing something. How did your condition result in the death of ARC Trooper Fives?” Mace has already read the preliminary reports from Five’s attack on the Chancellor and subsequent death. He hadn’t been surprised to hear it’d ended in death, though he had been somewhat annoyed that the Guard hadn’t brought the trooper back alive. 

Fox stares resolutely over Mace’s shoulder. “I was having an, an  _ episode  _ when I received orders to detain Fives. According to regulations, I should have stunned him.” Mace nods. He knows the regs. “I thought it was set to stun. I didn’t want to kill him.” 

Mace frowns. Fox is an exceedingly competent soldier. To make such a simple mistake, even in the throes of some sort of dissociative episode, would be very out-of-character. “Commander,” he begins. Fox’s eyes meet his momentarily before flickering away. “Do you remember shooting ARC Fives?”

Fox hesitates. “...No, sir. Not clearly. I… there are gaps. Vital ones.” Mace makes a curious noise and Fox stiffens. “I don’t expect you to believe me, General, and I’m not trying to excuse what I did, I’m just… trying to tell the full story.”

Fox’s mouth twitches once, twice, three times, then tightens to a thin white line. Mace takes a careful step forward. “I believe you, Commander. You have no reason to lie to me about this. However, I do have one request.”

“Anything, sir.” 

“I’d like to take a look inside your mind. Nothing too invasive,” he assures when Fox flinches. “Just a surface-level once-over to view your recent memories and see if any glaring problems present themselves.” 

Fox hesitates, then nods. “What do I need to do?”

Mace steps forward again until he’s within arm’s reach. “Just close your eyes and lower your shields. I’m going to place my hands on your head and reach out to you in the Force. Are you ready?” 

Fox nods again, closing his eyes. When Mace touches his head, he can feel the tremors running up and down Fox’s body, too small to be seen. He’s tense, both physically and mentally, and Mace winces at the effort it takes to lower his battered shields. 

Mace isn’t sure what he expected to find when he touched Fox’s mind. Some lesions, maybe. Some sort of evidence of the psychological torment he’d described. Possibly a brain injury. 

The inside of the Commander’s mind is in shambles. All semblance of order has been abandoned, and a closer look reveals gaping holes with ragged edges, whole pieces of Fox’s identity and memories ripped out and left a bleeding blank. At the core of it all, a dark center, deeper still than the nova-bright LightDark that makes up Fox’s signature. It lies still and stagnant, as dead as a tumor in a healthy lung. 

It’s a miracle the man’s still sane. 

Mace withdraws carefully, not wanting to accidentally cause more damage. The feeling of  _ something’s not right, this is bigger than you and Fox  _ continues to prod him from the Force. Whatever Fox is experiencing, Mace needs a second opinion. 

“Commander,” he begins, soft and slow. Fox startles nonetheless, eyes snapping open and flicking around the room before settling somewhere around Mace’s forehead. Mace reaches out and puts a hand on Fox’s shoulder. “I would like you to come with me to the Halls of Healing for an exam.”

“Sir?” Fox steps back, eyebrows furrowed. “I… I don’t understand. At the Temple?”

Mace nods. “Indeed. It appears as though your mind has been tampered with in the extreme, most likely by someone  _ very  _ strong in the Force. I should very much like to know how this happened.” 

The Commander looks, somehow, even fainter than before, scarred face underscored with a grey tinge Mace is more than ready to attribute to exhaustion, both mental and physical. Shock possibly plays some role in it, as well. “A Force user?”

“Yes. As much as it pains me to say it, there are those of us who fall prey to the lure of power, especially of the kind held over other beings.” Mace sighs. “Any of the Temple Healers would be far more qualified than myself to investigate further, as well as to help you recover.”

Fox blinks. “Recover?”

“Commander Fox, I have no intention of court martialing you today. In fact, I’d go as far as to oppose any who might try. If my suspicions are correct, what you have done was out of your control and you need time to heal, not time in a cell.” Mace swallows back the knowledge that any fate that awaited Fox, should Mace court martial him, would not be found in a cell. “Now, is there anything you need to do before I take you back to the Temple?”

* * *

**CC Group Chat For What?**

**Thorn:** hey what the fuck

**Thorn: @Fox**

**Thorn: @Fox**

**Thorn: @Fox**

**Wolffe:** thorn i will block you from this chat

**Wolffe:** what’s going on?

**Thorn:** idk that’s the problem

**Thorn:** someone with a clearance level WAY higher than mine just entered fox for “indefinite leave” and like two minutes later I got a message from Fox saying he’d be gone for a while and giving me a shit ton of paperwork and scheduling stuff 

**Thorn:** and now he won’t answe me

**Thorn:** on anything

**Wolffe:** I’m sure it’s fine

**Wolffe:** Fox doesn’t do stupid shit, he’s probably going undercover or smth

**Cody:** no i just got a notif about a possible court martial under fox’s cc tag

**Wolffe:** what

**Wolffe:** kote i swear to shit if your pet fucking ct tried to pull shit on fox for what happened with the arc i will feed him my deecee

**Cody:** it wasn’t Rex

**Cody:** i already asked

**Ponds:** guys he’s with us

**Wolffe:** wdym

**Ponds:** general says not to say much, but I’m on leave on coruscant right now and fox is okay and with us

**Thorn:** i don’t like this

**Cody:** keep us updated, ponds 

* * *

By now, Vokara Che is used to Mace Windu carting bedraggled young warriors into her Halls. It comes with the territory of being a kind soul with a clearance pass, she supposes. You see trouble, you fix it. It’s the Jedi way. 

Still, another part of her heart breaks when she sees who Mace has brought to her today. He’d called ahead, of course, saying that he was bringing in a clone with an unspecified psychiatric problem. What he hadn’t mentioned was that this trooper was also suffering from just about everything it was possible to suffer from without sustaining an actual injury. 

Vokara hates the way the Republic and the Jedi have used the clones. Of course she does. The way some members of the government are willing to bend over backwards to condone slavery will never cease to shock and disgust her. In that light, perhaps she shouldn’t be surprised to see the poor young man all but collapse onto her exam table, scuffed armor clinking and catching at the thin sheets. 

“Healer Che, this is Commander Fox. Commander Fox, this is Vokara Che. She’s our best.” Mace gestures from Commander Fox to Vokara before stepping back and letting her get to work. 

“Good morning, Commander,” she says, reaching out to shake his hand. 

He stares blankly at her for just a moment before clasping her wrist and shaking, just this side of too firm. “Good morning, sir.” 

“Now, first things first. Would you like Master Windu to leave? My understanding is that the issues you’re dealing with are private.”

Fox gives her another blank look, looking from her to Mace as though he’s not sure what he’s hearing. It makes sense, Vokara supposes, in a terrible way. One wouldn’t have privacy if one wasn’t considered sentient, after all. Well, there’s a first time for everything. 

At last, Fox speaks. “He. The General can stay.” 

Vokara glances back to Mace, who nods and takes a seat in her lone visitor’s chair. “Very well, Commander. With that out of the way, let’s get down to business. Master Windu informed me that you’ve been suffering from memory loss, amongst other mental health issues. Could you elaborate, please?” 

Fox nods bracing his hands on his thighs. “About 13 months ago, I started experiencing… blackouts, for a lack of a better word. I, I know what dissociation feels like, and that’s not it. I have entire missing days, not just times where things feel foggy. I wake up and I don’t know where I am, or I remember things in pieces. It recently culminated in me-” Fox breaks off, staring at the floor between his feet with the determined air of one not accustomed to crying in public. “With me. I.” His voice drops to a whisper and the Force around him draws close. “I killed a brother,” he confesses. “I didn’t want to. I didn’t mean to. I don’t remember pulling the trigger. But I did. I watched him die.” A tear streaks down the Commander’s face. 

Vokara reaches out and places a gentle hand on Fox’s shoulder. He starts and she responds with a soothing pulse of energy, a reminder that she is a peaceful presence. He relaxes, if only minutely. 

“Commander Fox is accurate in his assessment,” Mace says before Vokara can find the words to respond. “What brings us to you, though, is the cause. When I looked in the Commander’s mind, I found evidence of tampering of a Dark nature. Someone has been in Commander Fox’s head with an intent to harm and control, and I should very much like to know who and why.” 

Vokara nods. Mace’s commentary certainly sheds light on the peculiar tremor evident in Commander Fox’s Force signature, as well as the sorry condition of his shields. “Commander,” she begins. “Would you object to a brief survey of your mind? Though I can’t promise it won’t be invasive, I can assure you that it won’t hurt.” 

The look Fox gives her is the look of a man who has nothing left to lose. What must it be like, she wonders, to have no bodily autonomy? To be raised in a place where things were done to you, taken from you, placed in you, at the will of those who claimed to own you? 

Fox nods. “Do what you need to do.”

Vokara reaches and finds ruins. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look it's finally here.

**Author's Note:**

> No update schedule society has moved past the need for update schedule.  
> I can be found on tumblr @postapocalyptic-cryptic-fic or @chiafett.  
> May the Force be with you!


End file.
